Sunday, March 30, 2008

save sydney

A little more than a year ago I was at Hoag Hospital visiting a friend. I remember walking into the entrance thinking that they must have recently remodeled the place because it looked nothing like I remembered. You see, I have been to Hoag twice before to get stitches; once in my chin and once in my forehead. Either way, the hospital looked different, but I didn’t dwell. I found the receptionist and asked her which room my friend was in. Instead of following the directions that I was given, I thought that it would be fun to explore a little on my way to the room. I found myself in the ER wing of the hospital and noticed some very gruesome, bloody procedures underway. As I continue down the corridor, I passed by a long hallway to my right with a single door at the end. I noticed that the door was slightly ajar and something was telling me that I needed to walk down that hallway to that room.

I turned to take a step down the hallway and felt a sense of urgency, but with each step that I took the hallway seemed to get longer and longer. Because the door seemed to be getting further and further away from me, I quickened my pace. I broke out into a run and all of a sudden, the door flew at me and I stopped within inches of its handle. As I reached out to pull the door open, I heard a struggle inside the room and thought maybe I shouldn’t see whatever was happening inside, but was still having those strong feelings that I needed to be there. As I pulled the door open, I saw Katherine Heigl (who plays Izzie from Grey’s Anatomy) standing in the room facing slightly away from me, looking down at the table in front of her. Instantly, I was a little nervous because she is so hot! I was thinking, “OK, what am I going to say?” and “Just be cool and smooth; after all, how could she resist you?” My plotting on how to get a date was halted when I noticed what she was doing. On the table in front of her was Dave and Robyn Barnhill’s little baby girl Sydney and Katherine was trying to smother her with a blanket!

I ran over to the table to try and push Katherine away, but she held onto Sydney and told me to stand back. Obviously I couldn’t just watch as Sydney suffocated, so I went after her. As we were struggling, Katherine grabbed some needles from the Sharps container and was trying to stab Sydney and I, but I deflected the needle points and snapped them off on the counter, much like Jason in Bourne Identity. I managed to maneuver around Katherine and get her into a submission, sleeper hold. As I was choking her and she was loosening her grip on Sydney, Dave came into the room to pull Sydney from her arms. He thanked me and left with me sitting on the ground of an empty operating room with an unconscious Katherine Heigl next to me; contemplating how odd it was that I had a crush on someone who will soon be locked away for attempted murder.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

curtains falling to a new world

I was out on the town with my friends and it started raining, so we decided to seek shelter at one of their houses. When we got there we climbed two flights of stairs and reached the deck of his house, which turned out to be a club and the deck was more or less the outside break area. By the looks of it, this was definitely a rave scene. The guard stopped me because I didn't have a ticket or my hand stamped, so I stood there just watching. I slowly inched past the guard to the overhang and out of the rain. Wondering where my friends were (because they already went inside), I observed that I couldn't hear any music, which is odd for a club. Then I saw someone I knew come out of the doors. Lindsay G., sloppy as usual, came out and did the strangest dance I have ever seen, quite jolty and indescribable, but definitely drunk. Then she went to the railing and tried to kiss some guy and he messed with her making her look stupid, so she left. Then some other girl came up to the guy next to him and lifted his legs up. She was hitting and tickling him frantically until he started going over the railing backwards and he fell back with her holding his ankles; then she let go and walked away. Everyone stopped to listen for the thud and it finally came about 7 seconds later; and then another kid sitting on the railing fell back and it took him forever to hit the ground. I didn't see it, but it sounded like they landed in trash bins, so I am sure they were alright.

By this time the guard wasn't paying attention to me, so I slipped inside. It was a regular college student living room with a small kitchen and a bedroom; junk strewn about, food here and there, some old guy kicking it on the sofa and a short hallway to the stairs downward. I could faintly hear music, but it definitely wasn't the entryway to the kind of clubs I'm used to. I saw all the food and asked the old man how it goes uneaten with hundreds and thousands of young men and women clubbers going through here every night; because if it was me, I'd definitely eat it. He wanted me to stay and talk and chill with him, but I was drawn to the stairwell because this was definitely the most mysterious club that I've ever been to. So I made some excuse to leave and started down those stairs. I went down a couple of flights and by then was well underground ... it turned into a maze of stairs, but all within a central area, which seemed like the inside of a hotel. A huge underground hotel ... there were some students in there studying, which was odd, but I was searching intently for the club, so I went on.

I found an elevator which Elder Edelman was standing by and as it opened, I ran in and said, "Ha! I'm smarter than you!" He stayed outside and as the doors closed he said, "That's what you think," in a kind of menacing way. I didn't really understand why he said it like that until a little bit later. I looked at the numbers and the 6 was already lit, so I went there. The doors opened and nothing. I could faintly hear music above, so I pushed 5 (because the further underground, the higher the number.) When it opened I saw a huge venue with a huge sign that said "Paul Oakenfold Forum." The only thing about it was that it was completely desolate of people, yet I could still only faintly hear the music. So into the elevator I went and this is where the mysteries of the club start unfolding or rather start folding back on themselves.

The elevator started changing floors on its own, but the display inside was changing so rapidly, I couldn't understand it and also most of the floors were either in the thousands or in gibberish. The doors would open and there would literally be nothing there, and then they would close and change floors rapidly; repeating this process faster and faster making me think about Willy Wonka's chocolate factory; and then it all stopped. The elevator went "Ding!" I looked down and the number 9 was lit up, the last number. I turned around to find that it was a glass elevator. I looked out and beheld a whole other world. It was quite evident that all in this world were white and Christian. Too my left was a huge statue of Christ with his arms stretched out. There were thousands of people all around. Across a little stream from me was a church and a bridge leading to it or rather leading the people to me. This wasn't a club. I pushed the number 8 and like a curtain drawn from top to bottom, the whole world in front of me changed, yet it was exactly the same; only now this world was Islamic and Arab and Muslim. The statue turned into a mosque and the people's clothes changed to black, traditional garb. It was the exact layout of the first world, but with the Islam's rules. So I pushed the 7 and once again it changed to the Chinese, Asian, Buddhist dominated world. Now a huge gold idol in the mosque's place, the people all Asian in their native wear; a huge Wat with statues and a procession on elephants coming toward me with tens of people surrounding them. Then I heard a woman speak saying, "ฝรั่งชอบ Disco-Tech!" and I realized that I could speak this woman's language and she obviously knew about a club, so I asked her. She said the name of the place, which I was unfamiliar with, so I asked her where that was and she pointed over the Wat, so I decided to go.

I got out of the elevator and crossed the bridge into the Wat to pass through it. I was walking on little footbridges, over little streams, under huge lion statues and in the pathway were real dogs, only they had stegosaurus tails. I carefully walked around them out to the back of the Wat. I came to a huge, yellow, grassy field and began to cross it and in the middle I met President Slater with a band of men running, searching frantically for people yet I was still unsure why. He asked if I was alone and had I seen anyone else and then I was separated from him and continued in the same direction across the field. I came to the back of a building and a little stream which I crossed and then found another elevator, which after I examined my surroundings, realized it was the same lift as before. When I talked to President Slater, I wasn't paying attention and had passed through a mirror into "another world," is what I realized. Now all I wanted was to get out.

I didn't care about the club anymore, so I got in the elevator, even though it was in the reflected dimension, to get home and it started doing the same old tricks; rapidly changing to random levels. A couple of time it opened and there were lost clubbers who couldn't find their way out either. The first two were girls who joined me in the elevator. A couple of stops later, one of them wanted to look at something as the doors opened, so she stepped outside and as the doors were closing we realized that if she didn't come back inside, we may never see her again because this was no ordinary elevator in no ordinary world. So we pulled her inside and after a couple most random stops of nothingness in the elevator, we found more missing clubbers who joined. We had about 16 including me. Then the elevator started showing some familiar signs. The 6 and the 5 lit up and we were back in the hotel. One of the members in the elevator started talking and it was Elder Edelman. He said how the club was on the 4th level underground and he always tries to get the elevator to go straight there by talking to it ... the only way, but the elevator really has a mind of its own and does what it wants; and then I realized why he spoke with that tone at the beginning.

Then the elevator stopped at the top ... home base ... but would not open. So they explained that the guys outside would open the doors by placing a glass panel in front and prying the doors open. This, I guess, is the only way. Then they put red tape in the shape of a box on the glass and we all had to run and jump through the glass at once before the doors shut on us, so we prepared. Then I realized President Slater's urgency because this was a reoccurring theme at the club. It happens every night and if there are too many lost, not all can dive through the glass at once. Without ever really seeing the club, I with the 15 others ran and dove through the glass panel with red tape, hand in hand, to safety and in passing through the red box, I awoke.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

dream-master of the universe

For anyone that knows me or has spent any significant amount of time talking to me; they know that I am one who has incredibly detailed and vivid dreams. I really enjoy relating the latest in my ongoing sleepy adventures with friends, and they all agree that these stories need to be recorded in some form purely because of their entertainment value. If nothing else, these escapades may give a brief glimpse into my twisted personality, creativity, and strange imagination. I will do my best to share the unadulterated version of these colorful worlds that I enter into each night. I realize fully that there may be incriminating evidence that others may use to pick me apart. However, I am me, I am completely comfortable with who I am, and I have no secrets. Also, I always enjoy hearing others' view of me, regardless of whether it is good or bad. Please feel free to comment.

As of late, many of my family and friends have been regularly updating (or not updating) their personal blogs with missives of their lives. Yesterday I drew inspiration from a friend, mostly because she hasn't updated her blog in over 2 months. As I was blog-stocking her, I realized that I could not be upset or disappointed with the lack of updates when I do not have one of my own. I have always wanted to keep a dream log because they are often entertaining and of the strangest of varieties; and I figure that this is the best venue to do so.

Just so we are clear, this will not be a blog in the traditional sense. By a quirk of my own personality, I have always been against keeping a blog. Not exactly sure why, but it may be because I am a non-conformist at times. This log will only be updated as I have dreams that are worthy to be recorded and no preface will be given. They will be told as if they really happened and this will be the first and last explanatory post given. If I have noteworthy commentary to add, it will be as an edit to this post and this post only.

Please open up your mind and imagination. I wish to warmly usher you into the zany, exciting, confusing, sometimes slightly disturbing, euphoric, crazy, vivid, loud, lucid world of my dreams.


I. OK, I have made the executive decision to censor certain "scenes" from my dreams in order to promote a more family friendly environment, but there *might* be another dream log of the PG-13 variety for those who are interested.

II. please enter PASSWORD

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III. I am so excited because I am will now occasionally be featuring posts from guest dreamers. If you feel left out and want to join in on the fun, email me a post-worthy dream of your own, let me know if you want it to be anonymous or not, and I will see what I can do.