save sydney

A little more than a year ago I was at Hoag Hospital visiting a friend. I remember walking into the entrance thinking that they must have recently remodeled the place because it looked nothing like I remembered. You see, I have been to Hoag twice before to get stitches; once in my chin and once in my forehead. Either way, the hospital looked different, but I didn’t dwell. I found the receptionist and asked her which room my friend was in. Instead of following the directions that I was given, I thought that it would be fun to explore a little on my way to the room. I found myself in the ER wing of the hospital and noticed some very gruesome, bloody procedures underway. As I continue down the corridor, I passed by a long hallway to my right with a single door at the end. I noticed that the door was slightly ajar and something was telling me that I needed to walk down that hallway to that room.

I turned to take a step down the hallway and felt a sense of urgency, but with each step that I took the hallway seemed to get longer and longer. Because the door seemed to be getting further and further away from me, I quickened my pace. I broke out into a run and all of a sudden, the door flew at me and I stopped within inches of its handle. As I reached out to pull the door open, I heard a struggle inside the room and thought maybe I shouldn’t see whatever was happening inside, but was still having those strong feelings that I needed to be there. As I pulled the door open, I saw Katherine Heigl (who plays Izzie from Grey’s Anatomy) standing in the room facing slightly away from me, looking down at the table in front of her. Instantly, I was a little nervous because she is so hot! I was thinking, “OK, what am I going to say?” and “Just be cool and smooth; after all, how could she resist you?” My plotting on how to get a date was halted when I noticed what she was doing. On the table in front of her was Dave and Robyn Barnhill’s little baby girl Sydney and Katherine was trying to smother her with a blanket!

I ran over to the table to try and push Katherine away, but she held onto Sydney and told me to stand back. Obviously I couldn’t just watch as Sydney suffocated, so I went after her. As we were struggling, Katherine grabbed some needles from the Sharps container and was trying to stab Sydney and I, but I deflected the needle points and snapped them off on the counter, much like Jason in Bourne Identity. I managed to maneuver around Katherine and get her into a submission, sleeper hold. As I was choking her and she was loosening her grip on Sydney, Dave came into the room to pull Sydney from her arms. He thanked me and left with me sitting on the ground of an empty operating room with an unconscious Katherine Heigl next to me; contemplating how odd it was that I had a crush on someone who will soon be locked away for attempted murder.