why did you eat my dad?!?

The best decision that I made when I was in college, other than the obvious: changing my major to Information & Computer Science and deciding to actually learn during my last year, had to be the decision to become an RA. Being a resident adviser in the dorms was honestly the most chill job ever. Who can argue with free rent, my own room, own living room, own bathroom, and money for food every month? All I had to do was use the dorms money to throw a party once a month, making sure to invite a speaker of some sort. This is why it did not surprise me at all when I found out that my dad took a job as an RA at BYU-Hawaii. I did not know that they let people other than current students become resident advisers, but he got the job, so that is pretty sweet. However, another thing that I found odd was that they did not give my dad a room in the dorm because the old RA was living there and she refused to leave. My dad had to commute to the school every day and if he had to stay the night, he was made to sleep in the living room on the couch. How could he be a "resident" adviser when he was not even a resident? Maybe be was just there to advise the residents, not as an adviser who is a resident. Confused yet?

Either way, I went to visit him one day on my lunch break (yes, I have very long lunch breaks.) I walked into the dorm, but could not find my dad. I assumed that he was out planning a party or something, so I decided to wait in the old RA's room. She must have been some sort of Emo hippie because the bedsheets were tie-dyed and there were Weezer and My Chemical Romance posters on the wall. The room was a disheveled mess with clothes strewn about. I was getting tired of waiting and did not want the old RA to come back to find some stranger in her room, even though that room should have been my dad's, so I walked out and around the dorm to ask the residents if they had seen my dad.

I found that the entire dorm only had two rooms, but no one there had seen my dad, despite how small the place was. They began telling me a story about a dwarf that haunted this dorm and I laughed at them because I could not believe such ridiculousness. I left and went back to the living room to wait. I had not been there for more than a few minutes when a midget (not a dwarf because he was normally proportioned) came hopping into the room wearing a pair of bunny ears. Upon closer inspection, I discovered tufts of hair and little bits of my dad in his drool! I picked the "little person" up and shook him, yelling, "Why did you eat my DAD?!?"