i want my mexican baby back

Gas prices are ridiculously high right now. I cannot believe it; when I went to fill up my tank two weeks ago, it cost me over $4 / gallon! What is even worse is that someday I will be rereading this post and say to myself, "Wow! Only $4 / gallon; I wish that gas was that cheap now." All I can do now is to fill up at the cheapest station that I can find in order to save myself a quarter each time I fill up. That is exactly what my mom and I were trying to do yesterday as we wasted gas, driving around, looking for the cheapest station. We were in Costa Mesa and she promised me that there was a station by Fashion Island that was selling Premium for 30 cents. I told her that there was no possible way that a gas station would be selling gas for that cheap, but she would not have it. She basically forced me to drive around the bay to this gas station despite all protests on my part. I thought it ridiculous to drive that far for gas, especially when I knew it was not any cheaper over there, not to mention I would probably run out before we got there.

So, my mom and I drive around the bay and find this mystery gas station that she has been talking about and we are about a mile away when my car runs out of gas. So close that we could see the station up ahead, but I did not have enough momentum to roll up the hill to it. We walked the rest of the way to the station and when we got to it, low and behold, gas was over $4 just like everywhere else. There was a bus station next to the gas station, so we decided to ride the bus home and just leave the car. This way we would save money on gas. What a great plan.

There we were, riding the bus, which was crowded and stinky, just like every other bus that I have ever ridden (I have only ridden buses in Thailand.) As the bus attendant came around to collect the fair, he started spouting off, "Oh F*! I'm so freakin' sorry. We have to reroute through the transportation hub in Westminster and we just had a terrorist threat there, so you're looking at a freakin' four hour layover!" He continued, dropping expletives, so I turned to look out the window and tune him out.

We were driving down MacArthur passing Bonita Creek and as I was looking out the window, I noticed that we were driving up next to a convertible Mini Clubman and there was a rather large monkey tied up in the back seat. I thought this had to be the strangest sight that I have seen in Newport, until we pulled up a little bit further and I saw an entire family of four monkeys in the front seat. The papa monkey just looked at me and smiled and as the mama monkey on the far side turned toward me, I saw a human baby in her arms. Apparently, the other cars noticed this as well, because all the cars around us started to drive as close to the Mini as possible in order to take pictures. Everyone seemed to have a professional camera with great big, long zoom lenses.

The rest of the bus ride was uneventful, but when we got to the Westminster bus station I met up with two friends and started chatting. We did not want to wait for four more hours to get home, so one of them decided that he would just transport us home like Mike TV in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The next thing I knew, I felt myself hurling through the air, but could not see anything. I found myself in a huge room standing by the ankle of a sleeping giant. I was lucky that I was transported and reassembled in an open space. My other two friends, however, were not as lucky. They were now stuck inside the ankle of this slumbering giant and were yelling for help. I think the banging of my friends caused such intense pain that they woke this giant up. She started moaning and clutching her ankle, crying out with pain. The more she moved, the more my friends yelled and pounded from within her skin and it was not getting any better.

did you read my first post?

I just wanted to get out of there, so I ran out the door and found that I was next door to my own apartment. I walked in the front door to find that someone had been in there. My things had been overturned and for some reason someone had erected a Christmas tree, complete with lights and ornaments, in my backyard. I walked through my room and into my bathroom, where wooden cutting boards had been screwed into the counter tops, hanging over the edge. The water was running and there were bubbles in the bathtub. One of the boards supported a little TV set, which was turned on. I stood there long enough to watch a preview of a new movie coming out starring Rob Schneider. I was so discombobulated that I don't remember the preview, except for the end. I heard the narrator with the extremely deep voice say, "... starring Rob Schneider in ...," as Rob comes running around the corner and up to the front door of an apartment building in the slums of Queens and says, "I want my Mexican baby back!"